December 7, 2008
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I REMEMBER YOU
so initially… i was going to keep this private, but after encouragement and some very well chosen words from two VERY SPECIAL ppl… i will post it in my journey for growth with this writing thing…. *thanks Special Person 1 and Special Person 2. and i know i said i wasn’t gonna count this towards the 100, i feel i have to.*
#44 - …
i remember you
every minute detail of your face
i would emulate if i was an artist
i’d recreate your every feature
the small scar on your cheek
i fell in love with
the curved corners of your lips
i still love the way you smile
hints of you linger in everything
your laughter is… still… here
echoing in the caverns of my broken soul
how could i forget?
my emotions still need the memories
you called me ‘babe’
it lifted my spirits
you were me
and i battle with breathing
without you
my lungs dont seem to function
this heart beats differently
my words seem to be frozen
and i can’t seem to speak
cant scream – I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE
even if i know i shouldn’t
shouldn’t doesn’t erase it
because when i close my eyes
we meet all over again
every time i close my eyes
you seem to dash into my dreams
and
i secretly wait for those moments
when the love is real again
not missing, not gone
but here, real
where you and i exist… dreams
you can never be forgotten
i can’t escape your quiet calls
i hate to close my eyes
i know you will again be there
i remember you
even though it hurts me to.
Comments (14)
So part of your course is to write 100 pieces? That’s too much pressure on a brotha like me. I wrote for myself years before I took my creative writing course, and even THEN when it came to the poetry part of the course, I just dug one out of my archive, since most of the class dealt with ultimately creating a short story.
Now see,…THIS kind of writing reminds me of when I was writing about certain things that happened, or what I felt wanted to happen, in my life. I don’t know about you, but I had muses, and they inspired me to write. I wrote about everything, mostly about transgressions and whatnot.
This piece has loads of imagery, that leaves something to the readers imagination. I HATE poetry that is just out and out in your face, like a lot of these so called R&B and rap songs that leaves nothing to the imagination. A real poet like yourself creates an image that each reader can see with their own imagination that could be subject to their interpretation, but ultimately it forms into the same message that you want the reader to get at the end of the piece.
,…nice, Sweetie,…..
@Applejacque - i cant really say it’s a class. its a personal class. it’s a goal i have set for myself and i’m learning how not to force myself to write. to just write. to seperate my emotions from every piece i write, but this one… the emotions came on their own… the words jetted from within because they needed to be released. im on the search for my muse… sometimes he shows up and hits me soooo hard, other times…. he whispers to me softly, sometimes he yells… you know… when he cums, i cum, we cum together. lol. and it’s been great for me. i have been pushed by some fellow poets here as well. they push me to be better. to reach deeper, to not be afraid of what i write. i am just coming back into my writing as well.
i likely wrote three poems in the last two years. sad. this year… i have belted out 44!!!!!!! and it’s because, i’m no longer waiting for inspiration. in the words of a great friend… inspiration is everywhere and in everything. so… i’m growing. and i thank you for saying i was a ‘real poet’… i battle with that sentiment often.
very nice piece,
i love when you write honestly, i feel that it’s very hard for most poets
there’s such temptation to be witty
and hide away one’s weaknesses
but in your last two lines, there wasn’t an ounce
@Applejacque - i agree…you said it all
@Prim_Prim4488 - thanx Prim… truly. thanx.
@miss_thiq - sorry i turned the page again on ya… but i appreciate you coming thru.
Once again, this is exactly what I’m going through.
@ISLYMORE - eh, you’re alright
@ISLYMORE - Well, you keep on doing the dayum thing. During my writing years, I wrote so much, that in each of the few years, I completed 150 pieces that I put in unpublished book form. To date, I have one and a half, not counting the one that is compiled of the other two books.
Some of it came from muses, from deployments, from life, you know? It seems like the older you are, the more you have to write about.
Writers block is real, and when it comes, embrace that time reading. Be careful about reading other poetry, but then again, I become inspired when I read other peoples stuff. Read ANYTHING,….the Bible, Essence, The Onion, Smooth,….ok wait, maybe not THAT periodical,…I’m just saying,…
Oh, and challenge yourself to 1. Write in other genre’s, like a song in any genre, a rap song, haiku’s, etc. and 2. Write about other things like change, war, peace, poverty, partying, childhood, family, etc. Collaborate with other poets here on Xanga,…just ask someone who is actively writing, and both of you agree on a subject to write about. I’ve done it a looooong time ago, and it’s fun. By doing this, you will have plenty to write about.
I try not to tell close family and friends about my poetry, because some of them are like, “Write something for me about ___________”, and that’s too much pressure. BUT, if someone asks YOU to do that, you might take that as a challenge, I dunno.
@Applejacque - well sir… there’s a range of things through this 44. i’ve done childhood – titled ‘throwback’, its in the first 10. i’ve talked about poverty… about 6 back. but i respect what you’re saying. i’ve done haikus too, villanelle’s, i change up things. i challenge myself the most. but i don’t think i’ve written about war or peace. nice topics. i’ve also worked with some writers here on xanga. but i dig it man, i do. and i dont really like the pressure of the family and friends with pieces, but i try it if im asked. i dig you man. i dig.
This is full of delicate imagery and unspoken longing. I love all your poetry, but so far, this is my favorite.
@MlleRobillard - you know i love when you drop by. you’re one of my favorite xangans! thanks for dropping by. i appreciate your words so much.
I likew this, And I glad you opened it. keep following your path and when the times comes to shre the next level of your work and open your mind and heart to the next phase of inspiring events, I can’t wait to see it.
@Applejacque - i don’t believe in writer’s block. it’s all psychological and i’m stronging than something not real. you are too. and ISLY. we all are. we have to conquer our own minds before we can conquer a line of rhyme or a rhyme in lines.
i never saw this. and i’m special…….who’s getting sappy now? but i think i have seen it before. i don’t know. but what i do know is that i love this flow and how you always put that ‘ummph’ into every piece. you’s a bad gurl. massa don’t like it when we’s read and write but i’s won’t tell. keep it pimping pimping.
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