November 6, 2008
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Penmanship
My pen lays the blueprint/of verbal archetypes/more powerful than Superman/My pen has no kryptonite/Because without it/There are no schematics/No prototypes/No semantics/And my pen still is/A greater warrior than Achilles/More seducing than Aphrodite/My pen is the judge, the jury, and the army/ Like the rooster at the stroke of dawn, my pen is constantly alarming/Sentences conquer and divide the page/The big joker of the deck, my pen is the highest spade/With it words contort and shape their own meanings/Found them woven together with no comprehension of what I’m seeing/Nouns slice the paper like grass meeting a machete/A barrage of bullet verbs attack the page hard and heavy/Like a chessboard/I just scored/It’s a wrap buddy, CHECKMATE/Unlike the bee that’s hit with the nicotine spray/
MY PEN…
WILL NEVER…
FAINT!
Comments (15)
something I’m toying with….
And my pen still is/A greater warrior than
Achilles/More seducing than Aphrodite/My pen is the judge, the jury.
and the army/ Like the rooster at the stroke of dawn, my pen is
constantly alarming…
I love this. It really flows..I didn’t have to ‘re-read’ something or get caught up in the words, ya know. Well written
@lastingoptions - slowly becoming one of my fav critics! i appreciate when you breeze thru.
My pen lays the blueprint/of verbal archetypes/more powerful than Superman/My pen has no kryptonite/Because without it/There are no schematics
what a way to jump out the gate. you makingit kinda complicated to keep ahead LOL. you go girl
That was hot… it flowed like a sleep cycle… stared slow, but it just climaxes and then cools down… I love it… (snaps)
D
@Stillpoetic - Boo. you get a boo! You’ve passed me already!
@dadj_21 - I appreciate you always coming by and dropping your thoughts. I hate when ppl breeze thru and dont comment.
@ISLYMORE - yeah that’s annoying… you know I got you…
D
@ISLYMORE - Just barely. U got ahead of me first
@Stillpoetic - it wasn’t intentional though. you prolly got thousands of pieces you have written. i hadn’t wrote in a year really. so i was hella rusty. i’m still wiping chunks of rust away. plus you prolly write 8 times more a day than i do. lol… until yesterday. i hadn’t cranked out that many poems in at least 3 yrs easy!
@ISLYMORE - wow and u rattled them things off like a camp. I knew 20 was in your range. well yes I have many of them already written but out of say 20 I wrote 15 and edited 4 and left the long one alone. I still got rust. I used to push 9 an hour . now smetimes i go days.
@Stillpoetic - days? imagine years… yeah. years. its hard to find that groove again.
@ISLYMORE - i can dig that. sometimes I go months there has been a quick year I admit. buut i don;t think anything longer than that
Like a chessboard/I just scored/It’s a wrap buddy, CHECKMATE
That line was pretty nice…felt like something I’d hear from Lil Wayne or somebody….
Something about the repetition of “My pen” reminded me of a car engine that was cranking up but never quite catching. Then toward the end it caught and finally got riding. Then soon as it started riding, the rid was over.
The line about Superman and Kryptonite…I was having a conversation with myself earlier about why Superman needed Kryptonite…so found it kinda ironic that you used that in a line….
@dafeelingsinside - i’m still toyin with it. it might change, might not.
@Stillpoetic - keep ahead? or keep up????
@ISLYMORE - i like this flow. some lines seem nostalgic.
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