October 29, 2008

• When Is Old?

  I have been feeling really old lately. I’m not as old as I feel but I feel old none-the-less. So when exactly is a person old? When she can no longer do “the stanky leg” or whatever the latest dance craze is? And I don’t know how to do the “stanky leg” or the “harlem shake” or the “chicken noodle soup” or none of those retarded lookin’ dances because of that reason. I think they are retarded and you look silly doing them, note to ppl who do those dances at the club and think they are cute! YOU ARE NOT and the DANCE DOES NOT MAKE YOU HOT! So please for the sake of all the other ppl in the club secretly laughing at you or laughing at you on the inside – STOP.

  But I digress. I sat on the back porch last night talking to my little brother who is 22… and I said “man, I feel old.” He shrugged it off as me joking but on the inside I felt like a 67 year old grandmother and I don’t even have kids! I see all these young girls and guys and I remember. I remember. REMEMBER? Like it was so long ago. And I attribute my fast aging to living such a fast life when I was younger. I partied and partied and partied and partied… I partied so much… when I was in school ppl would ask me what was the happening things for the weekend!?! Odd… But I was cool. And cool was the thing to be then I guess. So when exactly is old? When you can no longer touch your toes without your knees cracking? Not there yet. When you can no longer do all the wild positions sexually without being exasperated too soon?? Not there yet either. So when is old? Someone tell me. Because I really feel old and I am only in my mid 20s… A lady never tells! (But it shouldn’t be hard to find out either)

  Do I feel old because the thing to do now is get married when you are 21? And I am not married?!?

  *Is that a bad reflection of me? I consider myself to be really picky… and not accepting of any and everything from any and every one but…  to that!*

  Am I old because the thing to do now is have 3 kids by the time you are my age? And I don’t have any?

  *Another could be bad reflection of me… But I don’t want to be someone’s baby mama either! Nor do I want a baby daddy who can’t pay his child support because he doesn’t have a job or has 3 other kids he’s paying support on but…  to that!*

  Am I old because young boys have a thing for me?

  *Isn’t that what they say? Young boys tend to go after older women for whatever reason? Albeit… young boys can be really fun sometimes, but I’m not in the business of being someone’s mother or teacher…. A big  to that!*

  So when exactly is old? Is it the point between 20 and 30 or  30 and 40? 40 and 50? But.. if 40 is the new 30 and 30 is the new 20? Is 20 the new 10 then….? And that’s just a big steaming pile of horse manure! I said it, I said it. And I mean it. So old… to me… is that point when everyone seems younger than you! When everything seems like you’re too old to do! When you outgrow the habits of your youth and start being a grown up! When you enjoy watching the news and watch it repeatedly! When you become a CNN junkie and even while you watch something else… always flip back during commercials!*Am I the only CNN junkie in Xangaland?* When the days seem short because you do nothing but the same things everyday… get up, go to work, come home, cook dinner, eat dinner, wash dishes, catch a show/read a book, take a bath, catch the news so you can see what the weather is going to be the next day, plan your work outfit for the next day, pray, go to bed and repeat (times the number of days you work)! When the club is boring! When the party scene itself is too tiring to even think about! When you have a savings account with an actual amount of money in it!

  When you become an adult… Do you then become old? Hmm…

  • 4:21 pm
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