Music to Praise to. Get ya worship on!

I love these songs, juss a random mix for people to enjoy.

Okay… So I’ve been neglecting Xanga hard… I think I’ve missed a whole year of my life… so I will do another post of catch up later – for now – this is the latest web journal/blog I’ve written… and it came from my facebook! So like it or love it…

THE INDUSTRY

So maybe I love music a lil more than the average person. Maybe I enjoy a good beat more than a jumping hook. Maybe my musical tastes have expanded matured is a better word. I say that because I am amazingly baffled at the music industry as of 2008. Upset even. I don’t understand who signs artists and for what reason. I get that popular America is definitely into the bangin beats, repetitive hooks, and sythesized singing of today… but dammit if I am tired!!

*YET… while I am – AND I REALLY AM – tired of T-Pain, I love ‘Chopped and Screwed ft Luda’. I can’t help listening to it when it comes on. I think T-Pain is a lil’ crackish…’cause as much as you hate hearing him all the time, you can’t put the Pain down, he makes alot of songs hot. Shocker, I know. I am sick to my stomach to admit that… but come on folks. Shawty, So Hood, She’s Got It… (dammit insert any T-Pain hook song) – imagine anybody else on the chorus. Would it have been hot like it was without him? Take a moment, digest that thought and be amazed at your own conclusion! And yes, T-Pain has his own special paragraph/portion/whateva ya wanna call it! Bc… hell… he’s #1 on the list of artists I hate to like sometimes, I don’t know about you!*

Now… T-Pain, Lil Wayne,  Plies, ….  As much as I think they are cool dudes, how many times have you turned the radio on and heard nothing but those three for like 80 hours straight?!?! I’m sick of it. And it’s not the artist I guess. It’s the industry as a whole. Why does Lil Wayne have 5 songs listed in a 10 song rotation and then he’s gotta verse on at least 3 more!?!? He’s hot right now? I get. Gotta hear him all day long? I don’t get. It’s like… “Wee-oo-wee-oo-wee – Oo girl I can’t believe it, she all on me – Please excuse my hands, I apologize – Baby U can have whateva U like – What the hell did I do right, My life – Been chopped and screwed”! And that was juss in the last 10 mins… My own personal remix! *Maybe it’s 97.9 and K104′s doin?*

And then… It’s like the industry is just graspin straws… bottom of the barrel artists are getting signed and broadcasting their videos and I am juss sick of it! What happened to the good old music? Like Donny Hathaway and Marvin Gaye and Diana Ross and Angela Bofill and the Temps. Yes, they are dated… but when 19 yr olds are still jammin’ their music imagine the staying power of those kind of artists!? Can you see YOUR GRANDCHILDREN AND THEIR CHILDREN bumpin T-Pain? Be fareal now?! Lil Wayne?  I don’t see it. And it could juss be me! But I can see my children’s children still jammin’ the Temps and Marvin and Frankie Beverly n Maze… EWF!!! List could be forever ya know!?!

(I object! The industry is still thriving!)  Now thass not to take away from artists like Jill, Erykah, Musiq, Lauryn, Jazmine, Chrisette. These are EXCELLENT examples of artists of our day who could have staying power. I’m sure I’m missing many. But these stand out to me. Dare I say Carl Thomas had one of the best freshman albums in the history of the late 90s-00s? Dare I say that and I dare someone to challenge me!? Lol. Almost every song was poetic artistry! Jill Scott! What can’t you say about her? Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu?!? I would go so far as to say that those three women are apart of the upper echelon of music of our generation. It’s wonderful to see women like Jazmine and Chrisette getting their due! Yes, I am sure I am forgetting many!  (Sustained.) 

AND IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME FOR THAT TOO!

Bc if I hear another Beyonce wanna be, I think I will literally juss tear my radio out my car altogether! I’m sick of the whining, screeching, shake ya booty songs! Is that all that there is for women to do in the industry? Make a sexy track where their half naked (or in a damn swimsuit (see Cassie  ft Lil Weezy F. Baby). Cuz thass normal!) in the video or better yet, make a booty shaking track where they dance the whole video? Come on. There’s other things to sing about in life other than the norm. Dare to be creative ladies! Dare to buss some windows out some cars and be ok!! *You liked that right??*

The death of the true music has been coming for a long time… and  if you doubt me… “DO THA RICKY BOBBY” and “IF YA LIKE IT THEN YA SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT!”   (Nuthing further ya honor, nothing further!) 

- Sorry to all the Beyonce/Sasha fans of the world.  Not really tho. She’s another one I am simply tired of. And I thot her sophmore album sucked ass, and I’m sure this next one will juss be tracks she threw together to put something out to keep her name relevant. Dare I say, I liked Solange’s sophmore album better than Beyonce’s?! I think I juss did. Wow, what a thot!

And I rest my case.

Well… to catch up Christmas was shockingly well. I gotta laptop! Welcome to 2005 for me, huh? Well the same things are going on in life. I have been unable to talk to my baby bc his phone is off. The cell phone in jail still gets me! But uhm, he tries to call me from another dudes phone but you know time is limited and we cant really communicate like we want.

Dont you hate being broke? I hate being broke. This was the cheapest Christmas I ever had to give. I still owe my father, brother, and cousins some gifts. Not to mention all tha other damn bills – life in general bills like electric, water, gas, you know. Life is hard. I never thought it would be this hard or this stressful … thats a lie. I just wasnt in such a rush to have it going on. I thought I would be somewhere else in life right now… at one time, but I am not that same person. And I am happy that I have become who I am. Not many ppl are happy in themselves. ButI am growing to love me more and more everyday. Every stretchmark or roll… If you dont love it, you dont love me. On my kinky days you better grease my scalp.

But dont confuse it… I still get hurt and I still am insecure just like the next lady some days. Such is life. You know? Its okay to be human I have learned. You make mistakes … you can make it as many times as you want to… until you take something from it. So Im willing to make mistakes. I am knee deep in debt but I am cleaning it up. Just one bill at a time… And that is how you do it.

Still love BBALL and FOOTBALL… slowly loving COLLEGE FOOTBALL. Cant wait until Jan 4. I aint doing nothin but watching the game. No calls, no nothing. My ass will be watching Reggie’nem beat Vince. (Im from Texas, but I just see USC takin it to them boys… so forgive me fellow Texans…. gotta go with my gut.)

That is all for now.

Hmm… So its been forever.

First of all… I am still with Wisdom. (9 mos and counting) I left Jabyron alone…  almost 2 mos ago. And I havent spoken with him since. He actually moved to the east coast to pursue the basketball future you know… and I hope it goes well with him bc the boy has skills. And plus he’s 6’8”… So he better had been able to do anything…

Anyway – I think I am gonna pursue being painted. This woman offered to paint me  – but I think she’s just tryna get in my draws and no… I loves me some men! lol… by the by – just for you – I am very interested in being painted! I think that would be a beautiful pic to give my baby when he gets out. So I am interested in that also – if you didnt know… ya girl can take some beautiful snapshots!!! Trust  me, I can be a model sometimes. And thats where all these photographers and painters have become interested. Bc I gotta photographer who wants me to model for a magazine. but you already know thats raunchy and I aint into it.

Oh well – just for the record. I been mia bc my job has firewalled the XANGA.COM site… so I been mia bc of that… and I might be mia for a while. They just decided to unblock MYSPACE! So… they kinda… weird.

Laters.

I still love my husband – WIZ!!!!

so…. i dont know what to do… maybe im stupid. maybe i think too much for the right now and not for the long term. i mean, i spoke with some friends and they all think i need to leave wisdom alone bc he has been in jail/is in jail. and he has that thug mentality. but thats not me. i dont know what to do. bc i understand their point of view and i respect it but i love him. i do. but now jabyron has come into the picture…. and i want him too. he wants to move here and work things out and live with me… and i dont know bc part of me really wanted to make a relationship with this guy… but he was soo caught up in being a basketball player and having groupies at college… that it didnt matter to him how i felt and what i wanted from him… yet now he wants to move in with me and be with me – cuddling and making love and rubbing my back and being a live in. and i dont know if i am ready or even wanting to… i mean, i did look up flight costs…. parts of me does want him to come… parts of me knows its wrong to want him when i love wisdom so much and im confused. i dont honestly know which is the greater part. jabyron is right now. wisdom is right now over the phone… and wont be right now until april. or so he says bc he did just tell me recently that he has another pending charge… so i dont know. im confused. and maybe im foolish… and maybe im not seeing whats in my face…. and i just dont know.

im confused. a state i hate being in.

and im back… yo… i cant do this yahoo beta blog, my myspace spot, and keep this current…. so one of em is gonna lack… i think im diggin tha yahoo beta thing bc i can pic and choose who i let in my spot… so thats hot. still got stalkers… gotta whole new attitude when it comes to my job now, im serious this time. i found the perfect apt spot for me… but i think im gonna go somewhere with lower rent… im still thinking about movin in with kim… hoping she wont get on my nerves, that is… but parts of me knows she will. it is inevitable, she already gets on my nerves sometimes. oh well… i been workin o-teezy at tha j-o-beezy!!! love it… thats like 300 plus bucks on my check… maybe even up to 5 if i calculated right, but u know me… i be lookin like… j-j-j-j-j-j sometime… (only my kinfolk will get that)… anyway… laters yall… and i had one more thing to add - yo how come i had like 400 songs saved on my computer… how come I can only play like 10 of em now?? dont know… somebody put tha hoo’doo on me!!!!

okay. so i havent talked to my baby in two whole days. Im dying here ppl. What do I do? i miss him soo much, it hurts. im worried – i dont know whats goin on with him or his cell phone. Last time I talked to him, he did tell me that he was out of the game. Which im so happy for, but I know its itchin at him and its in his spirit to be on the grind. anyway… i miss my heart. i live him and the days are soo much more harder without him, ya know?

anyway… i had fun this weekend. went to shreveport – made 60 bux!! and i went down there with nothing! amazing, huh? thats cool… uhm, other than that – friday night – i went to the strip club! with some friends… and one of the men who went is gay. so he was up dancing and prancing around the floor… next thing you know… a dude is standing near him, checkin out his ass. it was hilarious. bc when he realized that he was watching a dude shake his ass…. he went off!! left field off. And i got hit in the head!!! ya know… how that always seems to happen. oh well. it was cool – i wasnt like knocked out, but i was like tapped with a forearm across my forehead. shit happens! anyway – he turned out to be a cool dude, fareal. but i think they (him and his boys) was rollin on x… not to mention, hella drunk. then he gave me his number. after he apologized! crazy.

and i still miss my baby.

uhm, my brother had a wreck. he no longer has a car. so we gotta do dual traveling for now. oh well. such is life. hes okay, if anyone wanted to know. lol, he wasnt injured at all. And he ran into our church bus of all vehicles to hit!!! ha – shouldnt be laughin but cha’no… sometimes ya cant help it.

other than that… its been some time so i had to check in breifly.

im keepin it classy fellas.

so…. im back for another round. life is life. and right now, things are okay. I am so in love with Wisdom yall. I try my hardest not to speak on it… bc I dont want to jinx it, but its so hard to contain it, I just have to talk about it. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love my man. I do. So, Mann-Mann is back from the Marine tour of Iraq. I missed the guy, he just up and disappeared on us, so I was quite worried about my little ppls. I cant wait to see him. He says he’s gotten so swole. I dont know how to explain it, but there has always been this secret sexual attraction between us. Maybe its just me. But if other ppl see it, I know that he should be able to, right? Hmm… he is a man. I remember (*this one time…. at band camp….. lol) we spent like a whole weekend crowdin each other… and erybody was like – hmm, why dont yall just fuuuuuhhh already… and I was all like oh no, im a virgin, this cant happen. And it didnt. But now Im not a virgin. LOL! and honestly, my body doesnt crave anyone but Wisdom. But… being with Mann-Mann is still a nice thought and all. A woman can think cant she? I digress.

hmm… im still tired of my job. am i looking for another one? no… so who am i to complain, right? WRONG. I can complain about whatever the hell I want to… this is my damn blog, right? If u dont like it, stick ya nose somewhere’s else, iiiiiight??? i mean, i know all the cliches. Im thankful for even havin a job bc G. Bush got shit all fuuuuuhhh up, up and thru Texas, i wont even get to the U.S. as a whole. Jobs are like four-leaf clovers around this joint. And to get section 8 takes like 6 mos. Who can be poor that long and still live without doing something illegal. Give us something to do other than slangin on corners and maybe shit wouldnt be so bad in the world. Give us something to dream about other than hoopin’ takin us to the NBA or makin that next big hit on the radio… and maybe things would be a little bit easier for some.  and not even all… just some. But… i guess thats too much like right and we live in a wrong world. Thats why I liked Bill “I-need-my-dick-sucked” Clinton. He tried to accomplish something outside of war and getting his dad’s revenge. All I have seen since Bush been pres… is bullshit. Bullshit on a scale I have never even dreamed of seeing in my lifetime. I mean, no Im not sayin that things wouldnt have happened the same if Gore had won, but shit… at the rate we going… HOW MUCH MORE DAMAGE WILL WE LET BE DONE AND DO NOTHING ABOUT? I know I wake up and to some, I am living in the lap of luxury. I know this. Yes, I have it better than some. But i too dont have it as good as others. So I dont complain outwardly. I hold it all in until I cant hold no more and thats when I have this big ass entry (like so). Okay… I was so gonna take this somewhere else…. so Im gonna go now.

I love the love im loving. I live him. I thank God for making him better for me. For making him be who he is… so he can complete me. I thank God for letting me freely love this man and give myself to this man without being able to touch this man. I love him for his words and his calming nature. I love him for his need to protect me from the thug life he has lived… I thank God for giving me the opportunity to love this man and help this man and make him a better man. I love this man… and I’m not planning to stop loving him anytime soon.

so wassup ppl? long time no talk to or been around, i know… lets see how easily i can sum this up?

yes, i still am so in love with Wisdom.  things get better everyday, i miss him now.  i went on VAY’K to NY and fell in love with the city. im tryna get back asap. you know, how it goes… NY is the shit let me tell you all. i will be posting pics at a later date of all the lovely sites I snapped in Times Square. I shopped, walked, danced, and ate pizza. Oh, not to mention siteseeing and adventuring around town… What fun. I could def live there and get lost in the lights.

well… my sis and the gf are back together… oh nevermind, not as of last night. scratch that thot. they arent together right now. uhm, what else… my friend recently told this guy that she is so hung up on that she loved him… dude said…. *crickets chirp* nothing, he just stared at her …  then he tells her… she needs to just move on. WTF?? so they hugged, she got in the car, and cried all the way home. She says in her heart… that she knows he loves her. Im not so sure. It was just a weird evening yall. and i am not one to give advice on this whole love subject anymore, im just as confused as the next.

i will be hittin the theaters next friday to see Hustle N’Flow… Hope it pans out to be worth it. Need to catch up on movies fareal… Aint seen Batman yet… and if Fantastic 4 out? if so… i will be hittin it up.

some other random thots: is it just me or the chick who went to aruba and went missing…. was she not a creeper? bc obviously it was normal behavior for her to skip out on hangin with her friends to go kick it big with men… bc her friends didnt even tell anyone she was missing. i could get deeper into my speculations… but i wont, like… i hate to say it, but i think the chick is dead yall. ol rich (think he a judge) dude’s son called daddy crying about how she was on some kinda drug and she od’d… and daddy said ill take care of this son, but this is the last damn time or you’re out of the will. and so her body may never be found. its sad. and why was she leavin the club with not 1, not 2… but 3 men anyway???

i checked out farenheit 9/11. mr. moore has major issues with G.W.  erybody should check it out. it is PURE-D GRADE A 100% comedy. i mean, he called G.W. ‘a lame duck president’. who says that? it was soo horribly cut and paste i was confused thru most of it. Graphic and sickening scenes of men, women, and children injured in Iraq by bombs… he made it seem like they were just our bombs, but id bet 100 bucks that some of those same ppl injured or killed werent killed/injured by only USAs bombs. Even tho G.W. is a bit slow, Mr. Moore did him so dirty in the dummy department… thats all ima say on that. Its a good watch if you like to laugh at what ppl say… and G.W. oh well, thats all i can say. im sleepy… and back at work… not a good combination.