July 18, 2005
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so…. im back for another round. life is life. and right now, things are okay. I am so in love with Wisdom yall. I try my hardest not to speak on it… bc I dont want to jinx it, but its so hard to contain it, I just have to talk about it. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love my man. I do. So, Mann-Mann is back from the Marine tour of Iraq. I missed the guy, he just up and disappeared on us, so I was quite worried about my little ppls. I cant wait to see him. He says he’s gotten so swole. I dont know how to explain it, but there has always been this secret sexual attraction between us. Maybe its just me. But if other ppl see it, I know that he should be able to, right? Hmm… he is a man. I remember (*this one time…. at band camp….. lol) we spent like a whole weekend crowdin each other… and erybody was like – hmm, why dont yall just fuuuuuhhh already… and I was all like oh no, im a virgin, this cant happen. And it didnt. But now Im not a virgin. LOL! and honestly, my body doesnt crave anyone but Wisdom. But… being with Mann-Mann is still a nice thought and all. A woman can think cant she? I digress.
hmm… im still tired of my job. am i looking for another one? no… so who am i to complain, right? WRONG. I can complain about whatever the hell I want to… this is my damn blog, right? If u dont like it, stick ya nose somewhere’s else, iiiiiight??? i mean, i know all the cliches. Im thankful for even havin a job bc G. Bush got shit all fuuuuuhhh up, up and thru Texas, i wont even get to the U.S. as a whole. Jobs are like four-leaf clovers around this joint. And to get section 8 takes like 6 mos. Who can be poor that long and still live without doing something illegal. Give us something to do other than slangin on corners and maybe shit wouldnt be so bad in the world. Give us something to dream about other than hoopin’ takin us to the NBA or makin that next big hit on the radio… and maybe things would be a little bit easier for some. and not even all… just some. But… i guess thats too much like right and we live in a wrong world. Thats why I liked Bill “I-need-my-dick-sucked” Clinton. He tried to accomplish something outside of war and getting his dad’s revenge. All I have seen since Bush been pres… is bullshit. Bullshit on a scale I have never even dreamed of seeing in my lifetime. I mean, no Im not sayin that things wouldnt have happened the same if Gore had won, but shit… at the rate we going… HOW MUCH MORE DAMAGE WILL WE LET BE DONE AND DO NOTHING ABOUT? I know I wake up and to some, I am living in the lap of luxury. I know this. Yes, I have it better than some. But i too dont have it as good as others. So I dont complain outwardly. I hold it all in until I cant hold no more and thats when I have this big ass entry (like so). Okay… I was so gonna take this somewhere else…. so Im gonna go now.
I love the love im loving. I live him. I thank God for making him better for me. For making him be who he is… so he can complete me. I thank God for letting me freely love this man and give myself to this man without being able to touch this man. I love him for his words and his calming nature. I love him for his need to protect me from the thug life he has lived… I thank God for giving me the opportunity to love this man and help this man and make him a better man. I love this man… and I’m not planning to stop loving him anytime soon.
