February 9, 2009
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Father
So… I’m experimenting. If you dislike it.. let me know… if you like it… let me know. Either way. I flipped cards. (Style: Terza Rima: A-B-A, B-C-B, C-D-C, D. Topic: Father(s), Emotion: Dried Up)
My father never told me he loved me, the man never said a single word
Hatred stirred and the venom spread, as if this pain would never finish
Because he never said goodbye, only the slam of a door is what I heard
Years I awaited this man’s return, the tears that streamed my face had no limit
Until they ended when I realized… that man was never really coming back
And it didn’t matter how I felt, it didn’t matter how much or hard I pretended
He was never there for me, to me he didn’t even exist, this is simply a fact
That the man I wanted in my life for all my life, didn’t even have a place
So I’ve left the dreams of that man in the past right next to the father I lack
And now I’m not ashamed to admit… …that I can’t even remember his face.
2/9/2009 © ISLYmore
Comments (9)
I liked it… this was a different format, and the words hit home… way to come back with a bang
D
@dadj_21 - thanks. i found it odd. i have a father. i hope i clicked into those emotions that i needed tho. you always comment. thank you man, from my heart. it was a very diff format for me and i wasnt sure it would come out right. but im satisfied with it. thanks for commenting.
This did stir some emotions in me. It made me think about a few relationships I’ve had…
and WELCOME BACK! You were missed!
*complex
@Complex_Simplicity_0705 - thanks doll. you missed the one before this one. i came back briefly. lol. your response is always great. i appreciate it. it makes me want to write a lil more.
Man it is always nice to see u bring it to thhe house. Ilike the play on the format that was great. I like when people do that and U did a good job here. As far as the subject matter. yeah very well written as a total
this is it. i love the rhyme scheme and i love the content. i picked up a notebook in which i’ll be writing in again. still no copy and paste though. so how many cards do you have you think? i’m so tired and hungry and hungry but i can’t eat sleep. damn. i think i might freewrite a post right quick. yea, sounds good. i love this, don’t you forget that.
Out of all the writing style experiments I did, I have not wrote in this style, but I would like to. I don’t do sonnets and ode’s when I write, because I want this kind of challeng that you penned. I did a lot of haiku’s, free write, rap style and whatever.
I think I only wrote two poems about my biological father. It’s theraputic. He’s in veteran’s rehab for the 100th time, so I hope this time sticks.
I enjoyed this piece. I felt your pain and sincerity as being genuine in this. All I ask you to do is to not use your gift for evil, OK?
A really genuine poem about your emotions for your father. It helps me asses the challenges my father and I have overcome because when I was a girl he didn’t even live in the same state, parents never married and well my mom missed the greatest blessing of her life when it came to a man.
This also helps me realize why I dont want kids period because good or bad you’re going to affect their lives in ways you might not desire for them to absorb.
Sweet poem, keep writing…sorry I haven’t been keeping up with your page but I enjoy reading your work. So inspiring.
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