January 23, 2009
-
I Feel…
I feel
broken…
everyday
i am broken more
and more
over and over again
by thoughts
that dance in my mind repetitively
i shatter
into smaller pieces continually
because the mirror taunts me
constantly
i am broken
i am battered
i am bruised
and i am…
the broken pieces
they are all me
you must accept them
if you accept me
for they are
a part of me.
Comments (22)
I like this, it feels true to onesself. It reps how i think people should be, at one time or another they have to have a view of themselves and be able to be honest and open with whats in the reflection.
“i am broken
i am battered
i am bruised “
this is an honest description from the personal perspective.
by thoughts
that dance in my mind repetitively
i shatter
into smaller pieces continually
this one makes you feel the thought process, where you’re coming from as you are writing, it gives the reader prospective.
As a whole yet again I am feelin the honesty and it takes a brave person to reach that point. Keep it up.
This is good. I feel this and it resonates with me.
@Rchick2006 - do you ever sleep? thanks for commenting tho. truly. i feel like you havent commenting in a while, poetry wise. but thanks for visiting!
@Stillpoetic - and you know how i feel about you. told ya on AIM! thanks for being the first to visit.
@ISLYMORE - Well, I fell asleep at like 11 because I was tired from being in class for 6 hours straight, but for some reason I couldn’t sleep and I’m back up for awhile. Last night I couldn’t sleep either. I’m usually up late. I’m a night owl and sometimes I take naps when I get home so that allows me to stay up late too. I guess I just operate better at a night and so that’s when I’m up and about…but I also have to work and take classes so I have to be up during the day too (that’s where the naps come in lol). I’ll be sure to visit more often!
@Rchick2006 - i was wondering. every time i see you… its around this time. i was like ’dang, chick never sleeps!’
@ISLYMORE - haha….yeah I’m a night owl but sometimes the naps help or I’d be knocked out before 11.
nice piece… i’m glad you back in the writing game… very relatable
D
This really hits home for me. Although I’m in a good place right now, I constantly feel in a state much like the one depicted here. The one thing, more than any other, that I appreciate about your poetry is that it is so raw and has the power to hit a person where it matters the most. It’s not just beautiful. It’s real.
I’m glad to see some posts from you! I was beginning to wonder where you were!! I’m going to be heading BACK to bed, lol… 7a… who’s UP at this hour?!
Often the shards create a more vibrant poiece of art than the unbroken original. Keep ‘em coming!
The honesty is inspiring. Thanks for getting back into “writing mode”
~Angel~
broken is good…. like a mosaic broken pieces can be put together in a different way to become a beautiful piece of art
@dadj_21 - thank as usual. you always are so sweet.
@apennieformythoughts - hope you got your rest. well this piece just came from nowhere actually and it was… real to me so i hope it was real for you. thank you for commenting as well. im trying to write again.
@MlleRobillard - you always know exactly what to say to make me feel special. i appreciate your comments every time
@A_Rose_Exposed - im working on it. not there completely yet, but im working on it.
@Mahogany_Nymph - broken is good. i love your perspective.
yeah…. such a real glimpse at what most women seem to face…
“the mirror taunts me
constantly”
i know you already see it, but i’m gonna confirm it again, anyway. Your true worth shouldn’t be made from/in a man, so even more so by something that is man-made. keep denying the lies that the piece of glass shares. look deep within to reveal God’s plan and what He sees is there.
@CommonSense411 - its not about the actual… uhm man made object. its the reflection that taunts me. its more – whats seen when looked in the mirror. a personal thot of one’s self that breaks me/her. make sense? its not necessarily about men breaking me/her. its more so… herself.
that’s what i though you were saying… i just didn’t make my response clear enough. but the main emphasis is the last line.
@ISLYMORE - yeah homey u repped well here and sometimes I like being first
I love it / I love it / I love it.
I can feel it, I can understand it, I can phuckin relate to this shyt.
The times when I was like you,…you know,…actually writing pieces and showing them to people online,….I thought I could handle constructive criticism (SP). Sometimes I could, and sometimes I could not,…it depended on WHO was critique-ing my shyt. Prejudice (SP,…..there’s gonna be a hella lot of these SP’s floating around because I’m too dayum lazy to spellcheck for SHYT) kinda creeps up when it comes to who I take criticism from. But, then again, it’s all on the TONE of some people who critique my pieces. If they give off a I’m-tha-shyt-because-I-know-the-poetic-process-better-than-you attitude, then I’m-a say, “Thank you, I’ll take your suggestions into consideration”, which is interpreted as, “Bytch, go phuck yourself with a rusty trident,….TWICE”. But if I like them, then it’s like, “Thank you, I really appreciate your comments. They make me a better writer. I welcome more of your critiques on any and all future pieces”, which is interpreted as, “Comments coming from a person like you, who’s pieces are 100 times better than mine, is like gold. I wish I could have HALF of your talent, but if I actually DID, then I would use my powers for evil, and get with all the females that like my shyt”.
With that said, this piece speaks volumes, and I enjoy reading all of what you write. Please don’t stop writing, because every time you DO, you get better and better. No interpretation needed, this is real talk.
,…did you mean to write in that last line “apart of me”, or does it really mean, “a part of me”?
@Applejacque - a part of me… will change! oops. my bad. love your comments really. you always say exactly what i need to read/hear.
I can relate to this….I’ve been there before and partially still am. I’m slowly piecing my shattered bits back together to form a whole picture…and I’m starting to like what I see…..
Nice work maam….nice work….
i marinated on this. and marinated again. i’d like a response to this about the day(s) you don’t feel ‘broken’. what do you feel like on those days? you are a wonderful writer with much much much more in her memory banks and creative chest than hurt and conscientious dilemmas. welcome back to the write way of things.
@Arrive__Arcane - well, well, well… i thot you were in jail or something. hope you’ve been well. i’m making it. i wrote this piece as an overall synopsis of many days. not just one, not just two, but many. on days when i dont feel broken… hmmm… i’m honestly not sure there aren’t many days when i dont feel broken. it’s always there. im in the process of repairing the cracks and all. but there will be a response piece. no worries.
Oooh this reminds me of tons of painful poems I’ve written in the past. Although the darkness seemed to overtake my daily life, my spirit was speaking to me in the crevices of my journals with tinges of hope.
This poem reminds me after reading and studying about the spirit why I changed the subject of poems. Someone once said that a great writer makes you feel their pain so much that you don’t want to read the poem.
I agree with Arrive Arcane, there is so much wonderful about you that I look forward to a piece filled with joy.