January 6, 2009
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Random 2009
So… my random thots of the day… It’s kinda… wonderful i think.
my soul is drained and emptied
i have given the best parts of me, had them stolen from my identity
by friends, family, lovers, and haters
but i smile.
even though i still am missing the vital parts of my being
and life seems to be falling apart at the seams
nothing i do seems to make it better
it seems my hardest attempts only make things worse
but i still smile.
because smiling is all that i know how to do right now
smiling is all that i can do when nothing else seems to be the right thing to do right now
and no one may ever know that hidden behind that smile
are the emotions i will never share because they make me too weak
the feelings i will never tell because they hurt too much to feel
the thoughts i hate to think because they reveal too much sorrow
the desires i will never act on because i know i’m not what he wants
i am a shell of nothingness and here i stand
still smiling for the future
hoping for better days
praying for open pathways
pressing for a brighter year
and there
i still
will smile.
Comments (14)
I like this… I can relate… Everything looks so peachy on the surface, but if you look deeper… there’s so much more…
if it was a piece, it was a good one, if not, it was a good entry 
oh yeah… you have no room to talk about visiting and not commenting… when was the last time you was on my page? HA!!!
D
@dadj_21 - actually… i read you all the time, i just see no point in commenting on football games that im not watching. you are my daily dose of MTO. how else would i know that sharon jumped on megan? lol. i will do better about commenting. but if we go back in history – i was commenting you way before you stopped commenting me.
@ISLYMORE - I had a bad computer that wouldn’t get on the internet, and I have been working… but it’s okay though…
D
@Nomothetis - i will accept that from only you. anyone else… would have to leave an official comment. thanks for smiling at me. it made me smile in return.
I thought you were already smiling?
There was nothing to say; I read about your smile, and I smiled in turn.
@Nomothetis - i was smiling when i wrote the piece… lol… thanks for coming thru nomo. i deeply appreciate it!
I love random writing, it says something great about the mind of the writer/artist. You still will smile!! I love it!!
~Angel~
@A_Rose_Exposed - long time no visit Ms. Angel! how ya been? thanks for dropping your thots truly. i think this was one of my best randoms actually.
I like how you challenge the energy of the Divine in your peom effortlessly.
This page layout is beautiful thanks for adding me to friends list
Favorite lines:
smiling is all that i can do when nothing else seems to be the right thing to do right now
and no one may ever know that hidden behind that smile
@GoddessNailah - thanks doll for the comment and the layout comps. thanks for dropping your thots period. you are totally welcome to the page! i look forward to you coming thru! your comment shows your absolute honestly.
@ISLYMORE - Welll last I recall you went on a hiatus lol. But I stop by when I can, and I can almost say the same for you my dear lol. But it’s always a pleasure to be in your xangan presence lol. With love.
~Angel~
Preach! keep on, keepin on with the real. tell it how you feel. i expect no less from you. way to be raw and vulnerable on the piece. it gives us only the sneak peek of deeper thoughts, we still feel welcome cause you let us relate to it. much love
you know i can dig this. i love persisting and persevering. i’ve told you that you’ll conquer whatever the future gave you because you’ve conquered everything the past had given you. let’s do that combo piece.