November 12, 2008
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… (For Me… I Have To)
Now this may lead to more than one part of this piece…I hope the message is clear. It’s technically not for anything other than myself. But it is a piece I wrote today and I will look for a breakdown Mr. 1%. You don’t have to like it, you don’t have to hate it. You can comment if you like, it’s not really for you to understand. It’s for me, sometimes they work out that way.
# 29 – … (For Me… I Have To)
This beginning is the ending of the missing and the wishing
Hoping, praying that you’re staying but I’m exhausted from debating
The reaction of attachments and subtractions has me aching
The memories that stem from we, now swim in me I’m smothering
I’m suffering from hovering above this love and in between
My heart wont beat, my mind can’t think, my souls been breached that love’s impeached
I hope you see the return of me is all that I have chose to seek
It’s not erasing or replacing, but my sanity needs saving
From the struggle of this puzzle, to this love I have been slaving
All alone in this home, since you’ve been gone I’m on my own
And your cologne… leads to instant bad days and constant replays of sad songs
That keep me sinking with this thinking that this love will soon return
But it’s that fallacy allowing me those moments that I yearn
Can’t move forward from a past that is falling from my grasp
Can’t keep hoping for a present while I’m pleasant in my past
And I’m faking when I’m making the smile slide across my face
Because I’m stuck here in this rut of my continuous pained pace
Let me wake from this place that was safe in our history
Wave to days with no weights and no hate from old misery
It’s not forgetting or omitting, you’ll forever be within me
But the emotions I’ve been holding have been keeping me from living
It’s not a want, it is a must I must contain our sacred trust
Return it to the covert jar inside my heart I’ll never touch
And there you’ll stay locked in my safe… the memories will never fade
They’ll stay inside; from me they’ll hide, and never will replay
I’m asking that you’re happy with the message that I’m sending
Know this ending that I’m penning is the ending of the missing.
Comments (24)
Wow wonderful!
WOW. I love the way it flows!
The message I received from the poem is rather sad…of a relationship now lying in tatters, the sweet smell of it lingers… bringing back memories….
@VampireEdwardCullen - definitely some insight there…
yes: Hoping, praying that you’re staying but I’m exhausted from debating
@miss_thiq - I’m debating if that comment is a good thing or not… interesting.
@ISLYMORE - it’s a good thing…that’s how i felt about my ex
@miss_thiq - ha, i figured it was along those lines. its a tuff place… even tuff’r to stop yourself from going thru those motions.
dam.. we need to get you on a cd, the flow was just jaw dropping.
“And your cologne… leads to instant bad days and constant replays of sad songs” Awee man
“But it’s that fallacy allowing me those moments that I yearn”
Man I love this line like a fat kid loves cake
“And I’m faking when I’m making the smile slide across my face”
another one
“But the emotions I’ve been holding have been keeping me from living”
“
Return it to the covert jar inside my heart I’ll never touch
And there you’ll stay locked in my safe… the memories will never fade”
As a whole this is a masterful. I love the style, the writing, the moments sharred, and then the feeling that it is just emotionally honest. You go girl.
Beautiful. i love this. don’t ask me why i’m writing in lavender. this is good, on the real.
The reaction of attachments and subtractions has me aching-(asking)
The memories that stem from we, now swim in me (and) I’m smothering
I’m (S)uffering from hovering above this love and in between
My heart wont beat, my mind can’t think, my souls been breached that (now) love’s impeached
those are my ‘improvements’ im on you girl. you will progress past the stress. (oops, think i gotta line for a poem.) Be back in a minute
@Arrive__Arcane - upgrade me then! lol… i will progress past the stress… hmm… i’m sure i will. and i wont ask you why you wrote in lavender… bc you didnt. altho your response – seems prepared. i’m a lil concerned.
Can’t move forward from a past that is falling from my grasp
Can’t keep hoping for a present while I’m pleasant in my past
And I’m faking when I’m making the smile slide across my face
Because I’m stuck here in this rut of my continuous pained pace
….you truly do understand, huh? Damn, I feel like you’re in my head on this one.This, I believe, is one of your best…but I’m prolly a lil biased since I see myself in every line.
@lastingoptions - i got history too girl!!! it’s okay, this one just flowed from me today. it was emotional for me 2, but i got it out and i’m glad you can appreciate it.
snaps snaps i wish we were in a smoky cafe… u make me feel like that other friend in love jones… i just want u to get up and spit a poem one day about a dude u just me… fuck with me
@R_Pieces - read #28… go back a while. its been fun days writing.
Can’t move forward from a past that is falling from my grasp
Can’t keep hoping for a present while I’m pleasant in my past
Guess who!? Yup I’m stopping by….
I loved this one….it speaks the story of someone who was on the receiving end of a bad situation and didn’t quite want to let go but finally realized that they were doing more damage to themselves by holding on so they’re finally ready to let go. I chose those two lines at the top of this comment because often times people who can’t let go, it’s because they’re holding on to the memories and the good times instead of acknowledgin that the now is nothing like it used to be in the past. This was very on point and very well thought-out. Spoken like someone who has gone through it….bravo, my dear…bravo
@dafeelingsinside - Good seein ya!!! Hope you are better. I tried to present a different styling since I was jockin AA’s swagga and all. J/K. I appreciate you swinging thru and puttin ya thoughts out there too! They are always welcome. Still lookin for you to drop something on us too, but I can wait til you better and all. I have been thru it and it was a very emotional piece for me to write. I’m just now breaking out of lingering there. I am this piece. It is all about me.
@ISLYMORE - thanks for baring all. once i get back to me and my manness (lol) i’ll write something exposing.
@dafeelingsinside - good vision homie. i broke the flow down and came up with the same synopsis.
@Arrive__Arcane - yeah sometimes they come out that way. i didn’t know it was gonna be so emotional until i started it. and i am amazed at the outcome. maybe i’ll look into writing as a man, i dunno if i can dig that deep. i will pray over that. and you’re welcome.”there’re”…. hilarious.
I thought this one truly beautiful. You have quite a talent!
Holla…As much as you said that it’s for you and more/less you alone, I gotta say that it seriously felt like you were preaching to the choir as I read it, but then that just may be projection of my issues…
To me, sounds like an awakening like a Phoenix….Rising form what was thought to be a home (love) only to find that it has grown to be come an unfortunate sculpture of love made from those ashes…You realize that you have to spread your wings, though you’ll never forget “home” you still have to move on because in accordance with the myth of the Phoenix, you’re within that egg incubating in those smoldering ashes, but once you hatch, you’re too far grown and beyond the breadth and volume that which your shell can contain…So all you do is fly away, knowing who you are, and knowing where/who you’ve been…
Stay Up….
this poem makes me think of all the times i came close to breaking up with my bf.
in other news, you’re still a jerk.
@bluerebel327 - aw man… i thot this would de-jerkify me…
lol… and thanx for commentin the poem!!!
we want flows. we want flows. we want flows. we want flows. we want flows. we want flows. we want flows. we want flows. we want flows. we want flows. we want flows. we want flows. we want flows. (wait, i mean) i want flows. i want flows.
R, Cane