November 6, 2008
-
Clean/Dirty, Patiently, Quatrains
# 16 – Diamante
CLEAN/DIRTY
CLEAN/DIRTY
Clean
Spotless, shiny
Non-soiling, sparkling, freeing
Fair, smooth, stain, tainted
Darkening, spotting, fouling
Sullied, impure
Dirty
# 17 – ACROSTIC (PATIENTLY)
Part of me
Aching
To be
Inside your soul
Eternally
Never
Taking
Life from you just
Yearning
(PATIENTLY)
# 18 – QUATRAIN (Something simple)
I wanted to write this verse
To show how easy it comes to me now
But these lines are my worse
Cause they don’t end with a bang or a pow
the real quatrain for those wanting something less silly…
Silently I’m watching, my pen aimed and ready
He sees her standing there seductively, she is better than the rest
He approaches the prey slow and steady
Then molds letters and sculpts words that tattoo her paper flesh
Comments (14)
the first two realy good, that last one kinda suspect. but I like the diversity. Look at you closing in on it
@Stillpoetic - lol.. it was a joke. the last one. something silly. it should be suspect.
@ISLYMORE - True True
@Stillpoetic - i hit you with something else… bc you were so nitpicky!
@ISLYMORE - LMAO I C U
@Stillpoetic - I’M OUT FAREAL NOW. GOODNIGHT!
@ISLYMORE - good night. I think I got two in at the same time. I am still flowing
@Stillpoetic - I’m jealous. We were on pace… but ya leavin me. I guess thass cool. Dont let the bedbugs bite when ya do close ya eyes. Don’t be up all night either.
@ISLYMORE - you don;t let them bite either and I think 24 is a good stop. i am always up ( my mind is restless). i got to get back on my schedule
“Then molds letters and sculpts words that tattoo her paper flesh” My jaw hit the floor when I read this. HOW POWERFUL! Ugh, I wish I wrote it! The intentions of the male species, lol. You captured that perfectly! A-mazing!!
#16- I liked this one best of all…
#17- I love the structure
#18- The wording is tight…
holler later
D
you are very creative.
i liked all of them i aint see the suspectivity at all. hmmmm.
my bad…diamante is the second coldest flow you’ve ever written. hands down.