so…. i dont know what to do… maybe im stupid. maybe i think too much for the right now and not for the long term. i mean, i spoke with some friends and they all think i need to leave wisdom alone bc he has been in jail/is in jail. and he has that thug mentality. but thats not me. i dont know what to do. bc i understand their point of view and i respect it but i love him. i do. but now jabyron has come into the picture…. and i want him too. he wants to move here and work things out and live with me… and i dont know bc part of me really wanted to make a relationship with this guy… but he was soo caught up in being a basketball player and having groupies at college… that it didnt matter to him how i felt and what i wanted from him… yet now he wants to move in with me and be with me – cuddling and making love and rubbing my back and being a live in. and i dont know if i am ready or even wanting to… i mean, i did look up flight costs…. parts of me does want him to come… parts of me knows its wrong to want him when i love wisdom so much and im confused. i dont honestly know which is the greater part. jabyron is right now. wisdom is right now over the phone… and wont be right now until april. or so he says bc he did just tell me recently that he has another pending charge… so i dont know. im confused. and maybe im foolish… and maybe im not seeing whats in my face…. and i just dont know.

im confused. a state i hate being in.